Paris does not smell like Chanel no 5. The underground actually stinks pretty bad and the streets are dirty. I could of course go on with the list of things that make it an imperfect city but the same applies to all the big cities in this world.
Some say French are very arrogant and rude. I, for example, find it easier to cope with them than with the ignorance and stiffness of the British people. Although I love everything French, I must admit London is way better for business and for doing things. London is also more vibrant, alive, easier to adapt and live in. But maybe it all depends on the things we want to look at and the projections of our misconceptions.
The fact that French people will measure you from head to toe and veto your outfit can be intimidating and annoying in comparison to the nonchalance of Londoners who rarely lift their eyes from the Evening Standard. On the other hand, it is unlikely to see a French woman plucking her eyebrows on the tube or many disgusting men who have never heard about the word ‘manicure’.
London can sometimes be too much. Too crowded, too loud and sitting in a restaurant where the people around you are speaking 10 different languages at the same time can drive one crazy. But Paris is pretentious, the waiters will be nicer if you speak French and some will even pretend they do not understand English. However, in both cities, if you establish eye contact with someone and you just smile with all your heart, in most cases they will return your smile. And if you abandon all your misjudgments and don’t expect people to treat you in a certain way just because that’s how everybody else says they will, you might as well have a wonderful time.
Despite my incredible love for Paris, I have chosen to live in London and I still am so amazed at how welcoming this city has been. I haven’t yet discovered a place that would make me scream with joy the way la tour Eiffel does every single time I stop and stare at it. I cannot jump out of bed on a Sunday morning and run to a boulangerie for a delicious croissant and be surrounded by handsome men. But if I did, I would probably took it all for granted and slowly lose my ability to marvel at all these things. And I cannot forget how easy it was to pack my bags, pick a university, apply for a student loan and just move to London without feeling like a stranger or an emigrant.
After a short escapade in Paris, my best friend and I have decided that the perfect scenario would be spending the week in London and the weekends in The City of Lights. I can’t explain the magic of Paris and I would never try to plead for a city in favour of the other. Still, the one thing I know is that sometimes I just need a place where the food is exquisite and they sell macarons even in McDonald’s. As with all things useless, such as art or beauty, the charm of Paris may be completely meaningless to some of us. But I am one of those who cannot be a human doing seven days a week. Paris reminds me that I actually am a human being.
Pierzand vremea pe Facebook ( in loc sa invat pentru examenul de American Foreign Policy), am avut o revelatie. Mi-am dat seama ca motivul pentru care eu nu am foarte multi prieteni nu este acela ca eu sunt o ciudata salbatica ci ca generatia mea si a celor mai tineri ca mine este compusa din ciudati si salbatici.
M-am uitat tot timpul cu destula invidie la prietenul meu cel mai bun si la ‘talentul’ lui de a se imprieteni foarte repede cu oameni pe care si reuseste sa-i tina aproape. Dupa ce m-am gandit insa mai bine, am realizat ca toti acei oameni au peste 25 de ani, majoritatea invartindu-se in jurul varstei de 30. Cealalta prietena a mea foarte buna este si colega mea de apartament. Hannah are 29 de ani si suntem atat de apropiate nu neaparat pentru ca impartim o locuinta ci pentru ca avem o multime de lucruri in comun si pentru ca este un om in a carei prezenta imi face mare placere sa fiu.
Anul acesta mi-am propus sa ies mai mult cu prieteni vechi si sa cunosc alti oameni, potentiali noi prieteni. Imediat dupa Revelion am sunat si trimis mesaje unor amici (romani si englezi) cu care nu ma mai vazusem de ceva vreme. Dupa cateva telefoane si sms-uri/ mesaje pe Facebook/ e-mailuri, am fost destul de dezamagita sa constat ca acele ‘Ce idee misto, sigur, hai sa ne vedem’ nu s-au materializat niciodata. Si am insistat. Insa cu tristete am observat ca daca la inceput acesti oameni raspund cu entuziasm la o initiativa de orice fel, fie o invitatie la un ceai, ori o solicitare de a participa la organizarea unei surprize pentru un prieten comun, in majoritatea cazurilor pana la sfarsit pur si simplu se fac ca ploua. Inca nu am reusit sa inteleg cum de oameni de 30 de ani gasesc timp pentru a-si tine promisiunile si a-si respecta cuvantul dat iar cei de 20 de ani dispar in ceata.
Una dintre cele mai mari dezamagiri traite recent a fost confruntarea cu atmosfera de la facultate. Am fost uimita sa constat ca la seminarii fiecare student sta in banca lui butonandu-si Blackberry-ul sau iPhone-ul pana la sosirea profesorului si inceperea cursului. Nimeni nu vorbeste cu colegul de langa, nimeni nu-si ridica ochii din pamant iar dupa ora fiecare pleaca fara ca macar sa-si spuna ‘Pe saptamana viitoare.’ Acesta salbaticie si alienare a unor oameni atat de tineri ma intristeaza si sperie deopotriva. De unde vin apatia si lipsa de initiativa?
Desi avem la dispozitie atatea retele si canale de socializare am uneori impresia ca intre mine si ceilalti oameni este o distanta mult mai mare decat atunci cand nu exista Facebook. Nu vreau sa invinuiesc aparitia Facebook pentru aceasta lipsa de conexiune pentru ca este o inventie extraordinara. Insa nu cred ca felul in care oameni socializeaza pe Facebook ar trebui sa inlocuiasca relationarea in viata reala. Pentru ca a scrie nu e acelasi lucru cu a vorbi si a sta singur in fata unui monitor sau web-cam nu iti ofera aceeasi experienta pe care o traiesti atunci cand privesti un om in ochi si ii savurezi prezenta.
Probabil ca aceasta izolare implica un anumit grad de confort si ne usureaza vietile insa nu stiu in ce masura ni le si imbogateste. Poate ca a ramane ascunsi in spatele monitorului este ceea ce ii face pe oameni sa devina neseriosi, sa se eschiveze ori sa nu-si asume responsabilitati. Prieteniile adevarate presupun implicare si efort constant, nu se rezuma la a iesi in club si a avea pe cineva cu care sa te imbeti. Dar cine mai are nevoie de prieteni adevarati atunci cand avem mii de prieteni pe Facebook?
I think there’s this moment in everyone’s life when they feel exactly like Kevin Spacey in the ending scene of American Beauty. Grateful for ‘every single moment of their stupid little lives’. Maybe some miss the moment and continue to live their lives until the end as if there was more to it. There are so many people out there always waiting for something: Christmas, a new holiday, a birthday, a party, to go somewhere, to do something, and meanwhile saying ‘I just can’t wait to get there!’
Stop waiting. It might be a cliche but life really is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Unsatisfied with your present? Do something in order to change your future for the best, but don’t wait until you get there to be happy.
I woke up late this morning because it was a Sunday. I texted my best friend to tell him that as I opened my eyes I remembered one of our happiest moments together. And I needed to thank him for that. I jumped out of bed and I started dancing in my room while listening to ‘Viva la Vida’. I spent the rest of the day in, baking muffins with my amazing flat mate whom I’ve been so lucky to be living with for a year. She is one of the most balanced, calm and serene person I’ve ever met in my life. I found he, or she found me on Gumtree because we were both looking for a flatmate. It was dumb luck and for that, I am incredibly grateful.
As we were baking muffins we were laughing, taking pictures and chatting and I felt that there was nowhere else in the world where I would have rather been. Not my favourite bistro in Paris, not on a sunny beach or shopping on 5th Avenue. There was this feeling of closeness to another human being that leaves no room for other desires or wishes.
We ate muffins, we listened to a wonderful CD (she has amazing taste in music), then I picked a book and sat on our small beautiful reading sofa by the window. And that was life, full of joy, peace of mind and happening right then and there. Some say happiness can be found in the small things. I don’t know if I truly believe in happiness or I prefer the term ‘joy’. Either way, I am sure it has nothing to do with external factors. It doesn’t matter if you’re at a party on a yacht, buying Manolo Blahnick shoes & Chanel dresses, drinking Dom Perignon and being surrounded by fancy people or sharing a bowl of home made soup with a friend and walking by yourself in the park. Makes no difference at all if you can just take a step back and stop trying so hard. Sometimes it’s marvelous to be able to look at your life and get to see the bigger picture. Like you were in a museum and looked at a picture with your eyes partly close in order to see more clearly.
That’s when you realize how small we actually are and that in the end ‘you can’t stay mad because there’s so much beauty in the world.’
Not that I would be an important or famous person, but it happens from time to time that I receive e-mails or messages on Facebook from strangers who ask me to tell them about living in London, studying abroad or more details on different stories I’ve blogged about.
I don’t mind getting all these messages, but I would never dare to bother anyone (be him/her a person I admire or even a friend) without knowing exactly what I want to find out and without having a (at least mental) list of questions. For example: ‘How’s the weather in London? What’s worth visiting? Where can I find the best cupcakes or How much does it cost to go to the opera?’.
It is not a matter of being arrogant or anything like that, but let’s face it, we don’t even have time to write pages telling our parents or close friends how life is in London, let alone complete strangers.
The last message of this kind was from a person I have never met, asking me to ‘recount and advice’ her about living in London. She’s studying journalism and communication.